Dogjessecat's Blog

my friend, i need you now-

please take me by the hand.

stand by me in my hour of need,

take time to understand.

take my hand, dear friend,

and lead me from this place.

chase away my doubts and fears,

whipe the tears off my face.

friend, i cannot stand alone.

i need your hand to hold,

the warmth of your gentle touch

in my world thats grown so cold.

please be a friend to me

and hold me day by day.

because with your loving hand in mine,

i know we'll find the way

bottled up inside

are the words i never said,

the feelings that i hide,

the lines you never read

you can see it in my eyes,

read it on my face:

trapped inside are lies

or the past i cant replace

with memories that linger-

wont seem to go away.

why cant i be happier?

todays a brand-new day.

yesterdays are over,

even though the hurtings not.

i must cherish what ive got.

dont take my love for granted,

for soon it will be gone-

all you ever wanter

of the love you thought youd won

the hurt im feeling now

wont disappear overnight,

but someway, somehow,

everything will turn out all right,

no more wishing for the past.

it wasnt meant to be.

it didnt seem to last,

so i have to set him free.

my knees start to shake,

when youre in sight.

my mind is filled with wonder,

my heart with fright.

when will this feeling stop?

when did it start?

how can i listen to my mind,

without breaking my heart?

im so confused.

what should i do?

i cant think of anything,

except you.

should i ignor you,

or just give it time?

i cant think straight,

my heart controlls my mind

hes teaching her arithmetic,

he said it was his mission,

he kissed her once,he kissed her twice and said,

" now thats addition."

and as he added smack by smack

in slient satisfaction,

she sweetly gave the kisses back and said,

" now thats subtraction"

then he kissed her, she kissed him,

without an explanation,

and  both together smiled and said,

 " thats multiplication"

then dad appeared upon the scene and

made a quick decision.

he kicked that kid three blocks away

and said " thats long division!"

<Ryans POV>

      My parents left again.  I let Amber sleep for a hour then i woke her up.  "Amber, you better get home." Amber woke up and looked at my alarm clock right away.  "Oh no!"  Amber said.  "My dads gonna flip!"  I looked at Amber.  "What do you mean?"  I asked her.  "oh,uh nothing."  Amber hurried up and got dressed.  I did the same.  Amber and I ate and then i walked her home.

<My POV>

     I couldnt believe what happened that night,so I decided I wouldnt believe it.  Ryan walked me home.  We got to my house.  "Thanks for walking me home Ryan."  Ryan looked at me and smiled.  "No prob Am."  Ryan kissed my cheek then watched me walk in.  I was blushing when I got in.  My mom was sitting at the table in the dining room signing papers.  My dad was standing by her and he looked pissed.  "Mom, whats going on?"  I'm siging for a divorse from your father."  My mom said.  "Oh,ok."  I said.  My dad walked up to me.  I flinched beacuase I thought he was going to hit me.  My mom walked over to me too.  "Amber,your going to have to choose who you want to live with."  I didn't know I had to do that. "I want to live with you."  My dad looked even madder, then he noticed the hikkie on my neck.  He grabbed my arm.  "Whats this!" He yelled.  "Its a bruse!"  I yelled back and tried to pull away from him.  My mom pulled him off me and looked at him.  "Its a hikkie George.  Shes old enough to make her own decisions."  My mom was very understanding.  My dad took the signed divorse papers and left.  I smiled and hugged my mom.

 <Brendons POV>

  "Well it sure don't look like you fell.It looks like someone beat you."  I could tell she was lieing.And i know I'll find out sooner or later what happened to her.  Just then Ryan came out from the kitchen."Hey Amber!"  Ryan was so happy to see Amber.  Now they were gonna be staring at eachother the whole time."Woah,what happened to you?" Ryan asked her."She fell." I answered for her."Um,yeah." She said.

  <Ryans POV>

     I was so happy to see Amber, even tho she was all banged up,she was still beautiful.  I couldnt help but stare."What?"  Amber asked me. "Do I have something in my hair?"  "No, no you dont. You're just so beautiful."  Amber blushed.  "Um, thanks."

   <Later Into The Evening>

    Amber and I went to my house. My parents wern't home so we watched a movie.  I put my arm around her.  She automaticly put her head on my sholder.  It felt so right, sitting there in the dark, just me and her.  I don't know what came over me, I kissed her.  To my surprise she kissed me back. 

   <The Next Morning>

     I woke up.  I woke up in my bed, Amber by me.  My mom and dad were at my bedroom door,  they looked pissed.  I relized what happened, we had sex.  I couldn't believe it.   My mom and dad just left my door, but befor they did they gave me a look of shame.  They just left me and Amber go.  They didn't tell me to wake her up and make her go home or anything, just left.

<Ryan's POV>

   I was so dissapointed.I really wanted to hang out with her."Hey Ryan hurry up and get on the bus!"Brendon was calling me."I'm coming I'm coming!"I hurried up and got on the bus."Whats rong with you?"Brendon punched my arm."Nothing."He just looked at me."Okay.What ever you say."

<My POV>

  My bus was right infront of Ryans.He saw me rubbing my brused arm and walking to my bus.I looked up beacuse i felt him looking at me.Ryan smiled slightly.I just kept on walking.Then Jesse triped me."Haha freak thats what you get!"I looked up at Jesse.When I got up he was still standing there.I spit in his face."Haha thats what you get."I scowled and saw he was pissed.I hurried up and ran to my bus."Get back here!"I was doging people trying not to fall.Then one of Jesse's men grabed my arms.I squwrimed.Jesse came up and kicked me.He punched me in my stomach and threw me on the ground.Jesse kicked my side."Leave her alone Spangler!"I looked up.It was Ryan.He was off the bus and standing right infront of the bus door."You want some of this?"Jesse said to Ryan.Brendon,Spencer,and Jon got off the bus and stood behind Ryan."If you wanna fight Ryan you gotta fight us too!"Brendon and the rest of the guys were standing up for me.Jesse's guy turned out to be Eric Steadman.Eric still had me pinned to the ground.My arms were bleeding,my side was brused,and when I get home I'll get it worse.

<Later That Night>

  When I got home my dad was pissed.He got fired.And of corse he took it out on me.My dad threw me into the wall,punched my arms,and hit my sides.He banged my head onto the wall.I screamed and screamed.My dad cussed at me.Then he stopped.I fell to the floor and held my side in pain.My dad left.My brother and my sister came out from hiding.I told them to go to Aunt Carly's house.They did.I left and went to Ryan's house.I knocked on Ryan's door.His father answered."Yes?"He looked nice and friendly."um,is Ryan here?"I was afraid he would scream at me."No he's down the road at Brendon's house."I knew where that was."Thanks."he shut the door.I walked down to Brendon's house and knocked on his door.He came to the door."Hey Amber."He saw the cuts and bruses on my arms.He moved out of the doorway and let me in."Make yourself at home."Just the thought of home made me shiver."What happened to you?"Should I tell him?Would he tell his parents and have my dad aressted?"Nothing.I just fell."

    <Lunch>

     <My POV>

        I walked out of science class and to my locker.I shoved my sweater in my locker forgeting all about the bruse I had on my arm.Ryan came up to me."What happened to your arm?"He was pointing at the huge bruse."Oh um,I fell."I had to think of a lie because I couldn't tell Ryan about my dad."Okay what ever you say."

     <Ryans POV>

       That bruse on her arm worried me.But I just let it go.Me and Amber walked down to the cafetria.Amber had a big smile on her face.She is really cool.We talked all during class."Amber,this is Brendon,Spencer,and Jon."She seamed shy."um,hi."Yep,she was shy.

    <Brendons POV>

       I can't believe Ryan brought a girl to our table.She seams cool tho.She has long black hair with light brown highlights.She had alot of heavy black eyeliner on like Ryan.Her nails were black and she had a spike wrist band on.Ryan seams to like her alot because he was staring at her the whole time.

   <My POV>

    I don't think Brendon likes me very much.He was staring at me in discust the whole time.The guys seam really cool.And nice.Lunch is over.Finally.Now I can get this day over with.I walked up the halway not even waiting for the guys."Amber!Wait up!"God what did Ryan want?"Whats rong?You seam mad."Ryan wouldn't let me alone."Nothing I just want to get this day over with."He looked shocked."Okay,well hey do you wanna hang out after school."I had to think for a little bit.Would my dad let me hang out with some guy I just met?Would he hit me?"Um,I can't.Sorry."He looked dissapointed."Oh,okay.Well maybe some other time?"I didn't wanna tell him about my dad but I didn't wanna hurt him."Um,I'd have to think about it.I'm pretty busy when I get home."He looked ever sadder."Oh,okay.Well see ya around then."Ryan left the halway and went to his bus.I grabed my book bag and my sweater and went to my bus.

       I walked through the crammed halways and past the lockers down to mine.I'm new to this school and i dont know anyone.I'm all alone in this big place.I have no clue where I'm going and how to open my locker.In my old school we didnt have lockers.Someone bumped into me."Watch where your going,freak."I droped my books.Then a very cute guy came over and helped me pick them up.His name is Ryan.He's in everyone of  my classes,and his locker is right beside mine.

<Ryans POV>

I knelt down by her and helper her pick up her books."Thats Jesse.Don't worry about him.He's a real jerk."She smiled at me."So your  new here.Whats your name?"She looked down at her book and pushed hair out of her eyes."Amber."Wow,she has a beauitful voice."Um,hey if you want you can sit with me and my friends at lunch today."She looked very surprised."Um,sure.I guess I will."I was happy she said yes.I picked up her books and gave them to her."ok.I'll introduce you to the guys then.

<My POV>

   Oh my God!I can't believe Ryan just talked to me!I can't beleive I'm going to sit with him at lunch.